Keep Your Panties On

Imagine this: you are out partying and you spot that “perfect” girl. Gorgeous deep eyes, curves in all the right places, and obviously hammered from a long night of drinking. You are instantly hooked on her vibes and make your way to her section of the dance floor. Amazed by the fact that she’s dancing alone, you make your move on her and begin that good ol’ grind from behind. She accepts, and the two of you dance until the DJ leaves, and thus the party comes to a close. For some reason, she finds you intriguing, atleast that’s what you think because her lips are stuck to your’s. You make your way to your dorm room on the other side of campus, occasionally stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to engage in a passionate kiss or groping session (just to keep the mood in full swing). You finally make it to your room, and you both barrel in, already on top of each other and land on your bed. A glorious night of drunken fumbling and magic ensues. You wake up feeling better than you ever had, sans hangover. The girl on your left wakes up with a look of terror, says nothing, just gets up and leaves. Congratulations, you’ve just raped someone.

Is it just me or is it completely absurd that the above event can land your ass in jail? Rape is one of the biggest issues I see pushed on a college campus. Flyers everywhere, telling young women not to be afraid and that it can happen to anyone. Little flags stick out of the ground in a public lawn, showing just how many women are raped weekly. Okay, I get it and I really do understand how it can really mess up your month, but it seems more and more that rape is looked at as worse than murder. I mean, if anything, rape is less of a crime than shoplifting. Think about it. How many crimes can you negate by simply saying, “Yes?” Rape is bad. It’s even horrible. But is it worse than taking the life of someone?

Along these same lines, is sexual harassment. “Any unwanted sexual advance.” That is the definition of sexual harassment. Ladies, if I’m looking for a date, an unwanted sexual advance is what you’ll get. That’s my arsenal. You’re taking away my only means of asking a woman out. Okay, rant over, back to school.

**Edit: I just found this article over on TechDirt and it sort of pertains to the whole sexual harassment thing. Very, very, ridiculous in my book.